I recently completed a study on Leah and Rachel from the book of Genesis over the way comparison shaped their lives. The study sounded interesting, but I didn’t think I’d really get anything out of it, mainly because I didn’t think I really struggled with comparison. Isn’t comparison part of life? I thought. Of course I do the occasional comparing, but that doesn’t shape my decisions, my days, or my relationships.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Week after week as I did this study, I kept noticing how often I compare myself to others and in what ways: looks, home, family, work, volunteering. Day after day I started noticing how comparison rears its ugly head in my life. Night after night the thoughts of inadequacy cross my mind.

Do you know what else the Lord revealed to my spirit? This comparison I used to think I didn’t really struggle with has planted a seed of jealousy whose roots have embedded deeply within my soul and formed into the ugly tree of bitterness. Oh, how I wish I could just put a stop to comparing myself with others right now! How nice it would be to cast out that jealous seed and cut down that bitter tree!

Yet God, in His infinite, marvelous wisdom and love, has also revealed to me a verse to help combat this comparison cycle. Romans 12:15 says that we are to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” When I compare myself with others this command is nigh impossible, for jealousy and bitterness immediately attack and whisper into my soul. Yet, when I ask my Father for help and pray His words back to Him, that tree, that cycle, starts to die.

I am a new creation in Christ, so I no longer have to be defined by jealousy and bitterness – comparison does not have to rule my life. As the Lord says through the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:17, ‘Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.’

I had two epiphanies this week – my likes and dislikes are okay and I don’t have to complete everything.

I used to believe I had to finish everything I started: podcasts, books, a sewing project, a story. This was especially true when I was listening to or reading something someone had recommended.

Just because someone suggests a podcast to me, doesn’t mean I have to continue listening to it if I’m not really enjoying it.

Just because I may have told myself I would read a certain book or book series, doesn’t mean I have to, especially if I don’t think the writing is particularly engaging.

Just because I begin a sewing project, doesn’t mean I have to continue it (or complete it within a specific time frame).

Just because I want to write a story about a certain topic or with certain characters, if the story simply isn’t working, well, it’s really okay to scrap it.

Now, sometimes I trudge through something because it’s important to someone or to myself. I can shove aside my own desires or annoyances in order to deepen relationships or develop discipline. Yet, how wonderfully freeing to know that other times I can simply say, ‘I’d rather not….’

A new year has begun, and with it dawns hope – hope of better circumstances, better attitudes, better relationships.

During this time, some people make a resolution, something they want to do better in the coming year. Others prayerfully pick a word around which to center their decisions. Still others choose a Bible verse, training themselves to focus upon Scripture. Lists of books we want to read in the coming year; long agendas of tasks we want to accomplish; ten-year plans, five-year plans, one-year plans, six-month plans – all of these we make with hopeful expectation that we will be able to make the necessary changes, that ours is the will which spurs on reform.

The book of Proverbs gives us many reminders about who is ultimately in control, who we can ultimately rely upon. I’ve made resolutions, picked words, chosen Bible verses, and fashioned expectant lists. Yet, I’ve found that the more I focus on me, on what I want done, what I want to change, the less my focus is on the Lord.

Will I continue this year to go through the motions of preparing for a hopeful new year? Of course! However, I must also understand that, although I have made plans, although I have made lists, it is essential to remain open to what God wants to show me, teach me, have me do. He has seen fit to allow another year to happen – how can I honour Him in it?

It is difficult to get into the habit of daily reading and meditating upon Scripture.

The excuses I used for years against the diurnal reading of Scripture were, ‘It’s too overwhelming; I don’t know where to start’ and ‘It’s boring. I’ve heard the stories so many times’. I’ve also used, ‘I don’t have time today’ and ‘I’m too tired/overwhelmed/stressed’ and ‘What’s the point? I won’t be able to understand it anyway.’

When I look back at these excuses, the only thought that crosses my mind is, ‘Oh, how much better I would know Him if I hadn’t been so stubborn!’ I don’t recall what was so important that I could not be bothered to open the Bible. I don’t remember what I was so stressed over that I didn’t care to meditate on God’s Word. What I do remember is how little I knew about God and His character.

When I chose to immerse myself in and inundate my life with Scripture I found that those excuses were just that – excuses. When I began to see each book as a way to better grasp the character and personality of God, the Bible no longer remained overwhelming; the Book is about Him. After I came to this realization, it is now no longer boring, for I must discover how He worked in the stories. I have begun to savour and covet the time I spend with Jesus as I seek out who He is in the Letter He wrote.

Of course there are days when I am tired or do not want to read. Of course there are days when I don’t understand fully what the Scripture says. But, oh! – when I do make the commitment to read God’s Word, the long-term benefits far outweigh the momentary struggles.

I grew up knowing that poetry is a beautiful thing, but to me it was also somewhat mystical. I think I had such a difficult time with poetry when I was younger because I did not realize that poetry compels the reader to read it aloud. The fluidity of the words and pictures, the lines of beauty beg to be spoken, if not memorized.

The following are some of my favourite poems:

“Annabel Lee”, by Edgar Allen Poe – Short and tragic, this poem tells of a love so deep the narrator believes angels killed his love because of it.

“The Highwayman”, by Alfred Noyes – This haunting poem, famously put to music by Loreena McKennitt, tells the sad tale of an innkeeper’s daughter and her lover, a highwayman wanted by King George’s men.

“Jabberwocky”, by Lewis Carroll – This poem is marvelously short with made-up words that scream of Wonderland. (In fact, this poem is found in the second Alice book, Through the Looking Glass.)

“Lady Clare”, by Alfred, Lord Tennyson – This poem is mostly a conversation between Lady Clare and her nurse, who reveals a long-kept secret, the day before Lady Clare’s wedding.

“The Pied Piper of Hamelin”, by Robert Browning – A well-known tale, this whimsical poem warns of the importance of keeping promises.

In 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul speaks about our freedom in Christ and, more specifically in chapter 8, our freedom we have pertaining to food. For years I felt inadequate because I thought I was not bringing ‘good’ food to the table. I was angry because I kept comparing my eating style and grocery budget to others’. I felt judged and frowned upon because of the foods we could afford and the diet to which we were limited.

Yet, as I read Scripture, I have been reminded that I must do the best I can with what I have. I am told to praise God in everything, give thanks in everything. Ergo, I am told to praise Him for allowing us to have a food budget, even when it’s not as high as I would like it to be.

The questions I have had to ask myself during times of leanness is, ‘Do I have faith that God will bless the food we’ve asked Him to bless? Do I have trust that He will be able to keep us healthy on this budget and with these foods?’

Scripture reminds us that we have freedom to no longer be bound by diet and, for someone who has had to live on a rather small grocery budget, that is another thing for which I can praise Him.

In Proverbs 17:17, we are told that “a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

It is extremely difficult to be a friend who loves a friend in all the seasons of a person’s life. The more I study Scripture, though, the more I learn how to be that friend. I’ve learned that loving my friend means crying with my friend, praying with my friend, laughing with my friend, and grieving with my friend.

I have also learned that loving my friend means I must take the time to truly listen to my friend rather than freely offer my opinion; sometimes, I’ve found, it’s better to not give an opinion at all. Probably the most difficult lesson, however, is that loving my friend means forgiving my friend when their words are sharper than usual or when their mood is sour, and I’m at the receiving end of that sourness. Although not excusing rude behaviour, I have learned to remind myself that sometimes people have ‘off’ days because (and this will come as a shock to some) we are human.

Below are some ways I have appreciated someone being a friend to me, and some ways I try to be a friend.

Listening – Being someone who will listen, rather than constantly giving advice, is rare. I appreciate these friends more than they know.

Praying – Praying for a friend is one of the most loving things to do. Hearing a friend entreat the Lord on my behalf is something I covet.

Sitting – Sometimes all I need is for someone to sit with me. Companionable silence is so rare these days that when I find someone willing to do this with me it is time I treasure.

A few years ago, I had no idea there was such a prodigious industry in strategy games. Three forerunners in this industry are Catan, Ticket to Ride, and Dominion. Below are some of my favourite strategy games. (There are more difficult ones, but I usually don’t play those because I don’t like my brain to hurt.)

Easy to learn strategy games:

Patchwork – This is a quick game that plays 2 people who are each trying to make a quilt from differently shaped blocks.

Gingerbread House – This game, usually around an hour, plays up to 4 people who are all trying to build their own gingerbread house from tiles placed on a board.

Second Chance – This fast-paced game plays up to 6 people who are simultaneously trying to fill in their individual grids by drawing shapes that appear on cards.

Medium investment strategy games:

Azul – This visually appealing game, taking about an hour, plays up to 4 people who are trying to fill in their boards with tiles to earn points.

Caverna: The Cave Farmers – This game plays up to 7 people who are farmers trying to stay alive. Keep in mind with this game that the more players there are, the longer it takes (seriously – it can end up being a long game).

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle – This game plays up to 4 people who are students trying to stop the Death Eaters from winning. Play time varies depending on what game options you pick, and ranges from, “Wow! What a wonderfully thematic game!” to, “ARE YOU KIDDING?!”