I love spending time with Jesus.

Growing up I heard all the time about how important it is to have a daily quiet time with Him. I was given those five minute devotional books, told to read just a verse a day, even given what amounted to commentaries or anecdotal books marketed as devotionals, yet all of these were never satisfying and, I think, may have had the opposite affect than intended. The short five minute works left me feeling empty and hungering for more but afraid to actually read Scripture for fear of not understanding it. The verse a day approach was too little for me because it was too easy to take things out of context. The devotional works were then frustrating because I wanted Scripture to speak for itself, not be told what it says. I had a hunger for the Word of God that nothing but it could satisfy, yet I was so afraid I would go about studying it the wrong way and somehow mess up if I read it myself.

I’m all for hearing what other saints have to say. I own Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, and Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts and have recommended these works to others. I read books about prayer, strategies on how to know God better, and more that others have found helpful in their lives, but I take it all with a grain of salt – and I mean all of it. No matter the accolades the author has, the works they have produced, I sift through every book I read as best I can and compare it to Scripture, because all Scripture is truth and people are fallible. I am convicted that as a Christ follower I must be aware if something that someone says is theologically sound or not. (For more reading on the truth of Scripture and on being admonished to test everything against truth, see Ephesians 6:17, 1 Thessalonians 5:19-22, 2 Timothy 2:15, and 2 Timothy 3:16-17.) Further, if I am uncertain about what someone is saying or about what a specific passage is teaching, James 1:5 tells me to ask God for wisdom because He freely gives it.

The book of Psalms is full of verses that talk about meditating on God’s word and purposefully making time to be alone with Him. King David didn’t have commentaries available to him – he just had the Law, the written word of God. (In fact, in Deuteronomy 17:14-20 God made a law in anticipation of when Israel would rebel against Him and demand a king that, after taking the throne, the king was supposed to write down the Law for himself and read it every day of his life.) King David had the habit of rising in the mornings, even in the exhausting times of running from others and engaging in battle, and crying out to the Lord and then falling asleep to his mind meditating on His words. Christ Himself had the habit of going to the synagogue and of going away by Himself and spending time alone in prayer.

I rise before dawn and cry for help; I wait for Your words. My eyes anticipate the night watches, that I may meditate on Your word.”

Psalm 119:147-148 (New American Standard Bible)

I don’t always fall asleep repeating Scripture or rise before dawn to read God’s precious word and cry out to Him before the day is in full swing; however, I have experimented with these disciplines before and lo and behold decisions throughout the day are easier to make, my anxieties are less, and even if there are times when my flesh decides to make a marked appearance it’s much easier to combat it. My sleep is also much more restful, peaceful, and calming because I know that even while I sleep the Spirit has guarded my mind so it is ever watchful.

I have slowly built up to spending more and more time in daily fellowship with Christ. I think one of the reasons I chose not to for so long was pride. I wanted more sleep. I wanted more time. I didn’t think I had the time to give to Him. I didn’t want to give time to Him. I wanted all the benefits of knowing my Saviour and my God without all the effort, without all the push, without all the time and energy of listening to Him.

I am by no means a master at spending time with Christ – sometimes I fly through my time with Him, have to force myself to spend time with Him, or simply refuse to spend time with Him. My prayer life, at least the way Jesus did it, is close to non-existent. I pray throughout the day, but rising and going off alone in order to speak with Him and listen to Him speak to me? That’s not a habit I’ve yet to develop but it is one on which I’m working.

Despite these setbacks, despite the busyness of life and the distractions, despite the self-centredness that all too often creeps in, I have noticed something: when I spend time with Him in His word and in prayer I am better able to discern truth and my day goes so much better. I wonder how much better it will go when I begin my day with cries to Him for help, when I start to listen for His words throughout the day, when I end my day by meditating on His word – in short, when every hour of every day is consumed in spending time with, listening to, and meditating on the Saviour God.