(This conversation will contain spoilers for the current chapters and possibly for future chapters.)

S: There is so much in these five chapters which endear me to certain characters and have me rolling my eyes at others. I find Marianne’s and Willoughby’s displays of affection rather annoying, sort of like those couples you see who are so in love they just make you want to gag. They seem to have no sense of how their behaviour appears to others, particularly when Willoughby takes Marianne to Allenham alone. They themselves gossip about others, so it comes as no surprise that their own behaviour is making its way down the grapevine. Further, their general heat of the moment decisions regarding practical things is also lacking (I’m thinking of the horse Willoughby wants to give Marianne). Then, Willoughby abruptly leaves without a reasonably good explanation as to why. Part of me is infuriated with him, and the other part of me is wondering what in the world is happening.

…when the romantic refinements of a young mind are obliged to give way, how frequently are they succeeded by such opinions as are but too common, and too dangerous!

~Colonel Brandon

R: Marianne is so reckless with her behavior with and about Willoughby. In a time when one’s reputation could be ruined by such indiscretions, she takes no care to protect herself. Elinor tries to talk sense into her sister, but Marianne only came around in part, turning down the horse, not because it was inappropriate, but because it would be a burden on her mother. That seems to be the only consequence that penetrates her haze of emotionalism. I definitely think it’s good that Willoughby left, even under mysterious circumstances.

S: Mrs. Dashwood’s lack of motherly rebuke of Marianne is disappointing, though, as we discussed earlier, she and Marianne are cut from the same cloth, so I suppose she just thinks it’s the way to go about things. Still, she really seems to favour Marianne against Elinor, perhaps because Elinor doesn’t allow her emotions to cloud her.

R: I wonder if Mrs. Dashwood was always like this, or if her grief over the loss of her husband and home have made her more lax than she would have been otherwise. She might also be feeling guilty over removing her daughters from the home they’d always known. I’m not sure we’re given enough information about her before she became a widow to know for sure.

S: You know, that’s true – I was also wondering if Mrs. Dashwood had changed after her husband’s death, or if she had always been like that. The idea of her feeling guilty is a good point – I hadn’t thought of that, and it makes me a little less irritated with her if that is the case. 

S: Elinor, reminds me more and more of myself. Although I can be quite emotional, I can also be rather too practical. Her conversation with her mother regarding Willoughby’s abrupt exit was interesting. The way Mrs. Dashwood speaks to her and rebukes her musings is similar to what has happened to me a few times with different people, usually close friends. It’s hurtful when you’re trying to talk out something in a logical manner and the other person is so emotional that everything you say makes them feel attacked. In the end, both people end up hurt.

R: I’m the same way – far too practical in some things and far too emotional in others. I think that disconnect can sometimes happen both ways, too. If you’re emotional and want to just talk something out, but the other person is trying to offer logical solutions to whatever the problem is, it can be just as difficult. I’ve been on both sides of that one. The fact that Mrs. Dashwood continually pushes aside Elinor’s concerns about Willoughby and Marianne’s behavior doesn’t bode well. She has to know that Elinor has a good head on her shoulders and wouldn’t be saying anything unless she was sure of herself.

S: True – it sends up a red flag. Then there is the mystery surrounding Colonel Brandon, who appears to have a romantic side, but from his short conversation with Elinor seems to have traded it for wistful rememberings. We find he has a daughter (we can always count on Mrs. Jennings to know what she’s talking about in such matters). We also are reminded that the Colonel wants others to be happy and so notices when someone needs a bit of encouragement or a pick-me-up, such as talking with Elinor at the party. 

R: Ooh, this one is so hard not to give spoilers on. Colonel Brandon is probably my favorite character in the whole book, and it’s moments like his conversation with Elinor that really make him stand out to me. 

S: I’m really liking him more now! I also like Lady Middleton more than I did, even though she still seems rather ‘above it all’, and Sir John doesn’t get on my nerves as much as he did. Mrs. Jennings, however – yeesh. She’s probably supposed to be the comic relief, but land’s sake is she nosy! (Poor Margaret, too, not quite understanding when to hold her tongue!)

R: I think this is one of my least favorite moments with Mrs. Jennings. She’s nosy beyond politeness or tolerance and is far more annoying than funny. Margaret wants to be part of the adult conversations, and she probably hasn’t really been allowed to participate before. But, as you said, she doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut and feeds Mrs. Jennings’ rumor mill with just enough info to thoroughly embarrass poor Elinor. And poor Elinor is stuck in the middle, trying to manage Marianne and stay out of the center of attention herself.

S: The end of this section leaves me with more questions and suspicions and I’m excited to read on!

R: Two big mysteries – Why did Colonel Brandon really have to leave? (Do you think Mrs. Jennings is right?) And why did Willoughby suddenly take off when he had shown every sign of serious attachment to Marianne? 

S: I know we have a lot more to read, but I’m hoping we’ll find out at least some answers in Chapters 16-20!