I went to look up the word ‘tolerance’ on dictionary.com and was disturbed by what I found in the definition.  Dictionary.com defines tolerance as:

1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry.

2. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one’s own.

3. interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one’s own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

4.the act or capacity of enduring; endurance:

Merriam-Webster.com defines it as:

1: capacity to endure pain or hardship

2:            a : sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own

b : the act of allowing something

3: the allowable deviation from a standard; especially: the range of variation permitted in maintaining a specified dimension in machining a piece

Here’s the problem I have with these definitions: tolerance would seem to imply the endurance of something you don’t particularly like.  These definitions, except for number one on Merriam-Webster, suggest that one should happily tolerate everything.  The definition itself is intolerant.  It doesn’t allow one to be displeased with those things which one must tolerate.  A person should be allowed to tolerate those beliefs and practices with which one disagrees without liking it.  Fair and objective is one thing, but permissive is entirely something else.

Fair: free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice*

Objective: not influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice; based on facts; unbiased*

It is right to be fair and objective, and even respectful, of others’ beliefs and actions, but permissive implies approval of those beliefs or actions.  That should not be something implied by the word tolerance.

I am perfectly capable of tolerating someone’s beliefs without accepting or approving of them.  I am willing to discuss beliefs differing from my own, as well as my own beliefs.  I would only ask the same tolerance from anyone with whom I am having such discussions.  Do not automatically assume or assert that I am wrong, simply because my beliefs differ from yours.  You are free to disagree, just as I am free to disagree with you.  This doesn’t make either of us intolerant, merely disagreeing.

*Dictionary.com